Road Trip
by Angelfire10082
Summary: Voldemort,Lucius,Wormatail,Harry,Draco,Lockhart,and (Adult) Crabbe and Goyle take a ride in a Volkswagon Van and stop at a 7-11... SLASH! Pleze R/R!!!Not finished yet,but still good..


"Are we there yet?" asked,for what seemed the hundredth time,Gildory Lockhart. "NO!!!" screamed a pissed off Voldemort,who at the moment was not in a happy mood. Not only was he pissed off that he was driving a 1960's Volkswagon van,which had painted peace signs and flowers all over it and in the inside still had a faint smell of marijuana,but he had also caught his boyfriend Lucius cheating on him with Peter Pettigrew,aka Wormtail. In the van was his boyfriend,Lucius,who he had forced to sit in the front with him so he didnt play hanky-panky with Wormtail again,and in the back was his boyfriend's son,Draco Malfoy,and his boyfriend Harry Potter. Also in the back was Crabbe and Goyle (adult) who were having a make out session, Severus Snape, who was painting his and Wormtail's toenails pink,and Lockhart who was magically bonded to the top of the van by Voldemort,who would have rather killed him,but due to taking an Anger Managment class settled for bonding him to the roof. Suddenly the van hit a big bump and sent the passengers up into the air. "Will you fucken watch what your fucken doing? You made me fucken smudge my fuckin toenails!"screamed a now pissed Snape. "Severus,I think you've been listening to Marilyn Manson!''said Lockhart. "Who the fuck is fuckin Marilyn Manson?"asked Snape. "He's a muggle singer that considers himself to be the god of fuck,and due to that says 'fuck' after every other word."replied Lockhart matter factly. "Well,he may fuckin think he's the fuckin god of 'fuck',but I fuckin bet he dose'nt fuckin wear fuckin women's clothes and fuckin laungerie!"said Snape,pointing out that he was dressed in what a drag queen would wear. "Well actually he wears worse. You see...","WILL YOU FUCKIN SHUT THE FUCK UP!"inturrupted Voldemort. Crabbe and Goyle stopped making out and Draco sat there dumbstruck with his hand down Harry's pants. "One more word from you Lockhart and i'll..I'll...Well lets just say it wont be pretty."said Voldemort shaking and taking a sip of Vodka. "See what your making me do? Your made me have a alcohol problem again!"hissed Voldemort. A 7-Eleven came to sight on the side of the road and Voldemort decided to stop in,since he was running low on gas and Vodka. Once the vehicle came to a stop everybody,but Lucius and Lockhart,jumped out of the car and headed towards the store part. Crabbe and Goyle ran straight to the little boys room together,while Harry busied himselve in a 'CosmoGirl!'magazine ("I just love to know the new fashions and the latest on that Nsync hottie,Justin Timberlake!"),And lastly Draco went to get some 'Midol' for the fact that he belives that he is a women.....Dont ask... "Severus..Severus....It is us...The mints....You will obey us....."said a mysterious voice. Snape looked behind him and noticed a box of wintergreen flavored mints glowing. "Yo yo yo.. Dont listen to those mothas! Listen to the brothas! Yo! Pimp with us and we'll make your dreams come true dawg." said a box of chocolate flavored mints. "STOP TALKING TO ME!!! STOP IT!!!" screamed Snape,falling to the ground and rocking back and forth while holding his ears. "Ummmm...Severus...Are you ok? And who is talking to you?"asked a befundled Wormtail. "The mints! Cant you hear them? And now there are ghetto ones!"replied Snape. "I really think it's time you get a shrink Severus..."said Wormtail and with that he walked off. Meanwhile,outside Voldemort was filling the van with gas. "Ahh...The beautiful fumes of gasoline...They take you to happy land!"said Voldemort dreamily. "Actually there is no such place as happy land,but there is a place called Disney World that is nicknamed the happiest place on earth!"Said Lockhart.  
  
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Disclaimer: All characters and places dont belong to me,go figure... Goddess I hate doing these stupid disclaimers! It's not like to people that made up these characters are actually going to read this corrupted story!  
  
I'm not going to finish this unless I get reviews! I'm sick of writing a bunch of shit and nobody reviewing them! So review and I will continue the insanity.  
  
~*AngelFire*~ 


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